decembering at work

 

toots, you ain't cute.

the baby _can_ come out of the stroller, you just don't wanna.

the carseat _does_ come out; you don't buckle the whole stroller like that into the back seat. you just don't wanna.

you will miraculously figure out how all of it works if you wanna get on that plane. 

 

"ma'am. 'grinch' is probably the nicest word to describe me at the moment, but it's close. calling me names does not change the size of the liquid in your bag and your options have remained the same. choose, please."

 

"sir, you do not have any ID. nothing. your flight began boarding 10 minutes ago and you are just now getting to the airport? we have been open for FIVE HOURS. no, I will not let you through 'just this once,' no, I will not break they law for you, and no it is not my fault if you fail to board your plane."

 

"your bag will not be able to fly today ma'am. not at all. you have live roaches in your bag. that is a health code violation. I can call southwest if you like and they can deny your boarding instead, but this bag is not going on the plane."

done.

finished.

let me go home.