how i spent my election day

i sat bolt upright in bed at 03:30am thinking i was late for work. then i remembered i had the alarm set for 04:30am for election day. and i couldn't get back to sleep.

i dinked around for so long, taking my time because i had hours to get ready, i didn't leave nearly enough time to pack my "lunch" for 12+ hours.

i was the first one in the parking lot, at 05:56.

the school looks really odd when it's all dark with no kids inside.

you can only vote in the maryland primaries if you are a registered member of the republican or democratic party. i am amazed at how many lifetime residents of this state still don't know that.

even if you register by the 22 january deadline, you most likely still won't be in the system. wake up sometime during those two years between elections and get your business done.

if you aren't in the system, are registered in another precinct, are registered in an "other/unaffiliated" party, or wish to change your party designation on primary election day, you can only vote by paper provisional ballot. in the even of a tie or if the board of elections deems the provisional ballot count "necessary," your vote will be counted. again, wake up sometime during those two years between elections and get your business done.

i was not the youngest person on our election official team this year. i was second youngest, by 14 years.

once you get all the machines synchronized, it is best not to rearrange furniture. it would be bad to kink or displace cables. we "always do it this way," due to outlet shortages and placement, not because we are sticks-in-the-mud resistant to change. ummmm, i told you so.

it is a slap in my face to tell me that you require another judge to sit and monitor me while i load ballots. i am UNAFFILIATED. why would i lean one way or the other and try to skew votes in a primary election? and why am i the only person who needs to be watched? fuck off. do it yourself, then. i am not a toddler.

oh...now you need my help because you don't know what you are doing. hmmm. interesting.

keep your old, outdated, racist, bigoted, sexist, partisan, not-funny, generally-fucked-up uber-christian-reich comments to yourself. people like you are the reason WHY i am unaffiliated. i will not be aligned with people who sling racist remarks as jokes. no matter how many times you repeat it, i still won't find it funny. yes. it was something you said.

people who smoke heavily stand out, even in a crowd, and it is a herculean effort on my part to not curl my nose up at the stink. but i do try to keep my "game face" on.

only 21% of our precinct turned out, even though the weather didn't start to get bad until late in the afternoon. i was surprised at the low voter turnout. i hope that means everyone else is registered as unaffiliated, but i know better. most are just too lazy. our precinct voted more than 2 to 1 democratic.

no matter what type of voting system is in place, there will always be an angry mob of people who think the voting system itself is flawed. well, so are you. if you have a better idea, fix it.

apparently chief judges "don't get paid to know how the machines work." so they all come to me to figure out what they are supposed to do to open the polls on time. i'm planning on getting the big bucks as chief in november because i DO know how the machines work and that is important knowledge to have. especially if one has been "chief forever" and is not much into change.

most of the people working with me as election judge this year agreed that i should bring that up to the election board. they said they would support my shifting to chief.

people who try to register to vote or change their party designation on election day and then get mad at me because the system doesn't work that way need to shut the hell up. i registered in 2005, called the board to confirm 2 weeks later and haven't had any troubles. if you've let your registration go for 6 years, that's not my problem. let me reiterate: wake up sometime during those two years between elections and get your business done.

i am small, but i am mighty. don't you dare tell me i can't do something because i am a woman. i know my own limitations, unlike you old bravados. now, stand back before i hit you with this 75-pound voting machine.

whatever jackass decided to keep the polls open another 90 minutes due to bad weather needs to be stripped naked in front of beehive and shot repeatedly with an orange-filled cannon. most of the election judges are past retirement age and should not be expected to walk on a sheet of untreated ice to their cars and skate home after being in the polls for 16 hours.

the younger volunteers spent well over an hour warming cars, scraping windows and walking judges to their cars for safety.

1/4 inch of ice doesn't sound like a whole lot...but try standing on a solid sheet of it and scraping it from your windshield. i couldn't get a grip on the ground and every time i scraped, i slid away from the car. it was brutal.

metal folding chairs are really hard. i mean really hard. i didn't fall down on the ice at all yesterday, but it sure feels like i did. my ass hurts.

i was the last one in the parking lot at 11:21 pm. it took me 10 minutes to drive home 1/2 mile.