just might slay someone

the mouse for sure, no matter how many of them there are, they are going down.

but i'm gonna take someone else out along the way. i remember getting up for work last week sometime and finding the front door open. in the dead of winter. in the middle of the friggin night. we're talking 3am, and i have just spent the better part of half an hour mostly naked, now i'm looking at an unsecured front door. not wide open and snow drifting in, but open nonetheless. someone got an earful when they got home from work that night.

i remember finding what i thought was a snipped candle wick on the counter top this weekend. it was smallish. it was blackened. it was next to a candle. i finished cleaning off the counter and thought nothing of it. until today when i found three of them in the same spot. and another in the recycle bin. and another on the floor. and the last straw was in the muffin tin. THE MUFFIN TIN. it then occurred to me that we haven't lit any candles in god knows how long. therefore they have not been recently snipped. and then i found the half-gnawed jellybean under the toaster oven. definitely gnawed. we gobble jelly beans whole in this house.

apparently someone came inside that night. so the mousie(s) has/have been here for about a week. at least. F*U*C*K. it had better be a mousie. it had better not have a long naked tail. i shit you not.

i am armed with crack sealant and caulk. i have tuna and peanut butter for bait. now all i need is a big asshole to bring home some traps and help me move the large stuff ('cause i'm not doing it alone, nope nope nope) and hand me tools.

...please be just a mouse, please be just a mouse, please please please...