il niege beaucoup

my first grader had a field trip today. it’s his absolute favorite place in the world. he asks to go there every year for his birthday, so we get the family membership every year. he has been impatiently waiting for january for the entire school year, because he knew that all first graders go on this trip every january. today was baltimore aquarium day. i signed up to be a chaperone and go play with my son, who loves to find the poison dart frogs hiding in the foliage and watch the turtles paddle happily through their underwater jungles.

it was perfect. i was scheduled to get off work at 9:30. they were supposed to board the bus at 9:30. i was planning to take the light rail from the airport and get off three blocks from the aquarium, meeting the school buses right out front. we’d play and talk and have mommy-son time. i’d pack him back onto the school bus, take the light rail back to the airport, get my gear out of my locker, and have the employee shuttle drop me off at my car. by the time i’d get back home, i would have maybe an hour to myself before the kids got out of school.

i ended up leaving work about 15 minutes later than i meant to...mostly because no one told me when it was 9:30. i hopped on the light rail and made it to my stop. i overheard snatches of conversation about snow accumulation. i walked to the aquarium and popped my phone out, hoping i hadn’t arrived too too late. it was 10:21. i noticed i had a voicemail. it was the school, calling to tell me that the trip had been cancelled due to inclement weather. as the phrase entered my ear canal, i counted three snowflakes drifting gently from the sky.

i trudged slowly back to the light rail. as i stood waiting for the southbound train, the sleet mixed with light snow began. by the time i got my gear out of my locker and hopped off the employee shuttle at 11:30, i had to scrape my car clean. i drove 10 mph under the speed limit the whole way home. impulsively, i stopped at the elementary school to see if they were closing early, since i hadn’t heard a single word on that subject on three different radio stations. i signed my three elementary kids out of school and arrived home at 12:45. i was expecting my daughter to arrive via bus around 1:00-1:15.

at 2:09, as the last fingernail was chewed off my pinky and spit into the trash can, my cell phone rang. a mom in my girl scout troop just found out that the bus hadn’t even arrived at the middle school to pick kids up. bus drivers were pulling off of roads into parking lots and refusing to drive any further with high school kids still on the bus. she actually drove past her son’s parked bus, not realizing it was his and she had to go back and get him. she called me half-way to the middle school and volunteered to pick up my daughter along with hers so i wouldn’t have to load up my other three and drive out there, since she lives a block away from me anyway.

dismissal was at 12:40. not a word from the school.

at 2:25, girl scout mom called. the school needs my permission to let her pick up my kid. but apparently they don’t need my permission to keep her there indefinitely without a way home.

daughter arrived home safely at 2:46pm cold, frustrated and hungry. they made the kids stand outside and wait for a bus that wasn’t coming. ass monkeys. the drivers and the school admin. they should be smeared with raw meat and peanut butter, hung by their toenails over a pit of rats and cockroaches and slowly lowered an inch for every five minutes every parent has had to spend waiting for a word from their kids. and when they reach the bottom of the pit?

let the screaming ensue. i’m going to throw rotten eggs.