hydrophobia

 

is there anything more humiliating than having a panic attack in the middle of a pool where the boy scouts are doing their camp swimming test?

i  made a deal with the boys: i promised them i would do this scout swimming thing with them. however, there's a reason i don't do anything more than walk around & push baby floats in the pool. i am terrified of the water. 

 

it took all my strength to jump in and get my face wet. i got literally half-finished & panicked. i started seeing stars, i could feel my breathing getting ragged. i just plunked my feet on the ground & i think i said "i have to get out." i couldn't get to steps or ladder fast enough, then as i dragged myself up out over the side, gravity took my swimsuit bottom. i mooned the whole pool. so humiliating.

 

i sat on the side of the pool waiting for my breathing to regulate. nope.  i got my bearings enough to stumble over to get my towel & sat there shaking for another 20 minutes. i was still shaking when i got into the car to go home. 

 

so when my eyes get all big & panicky when you say "i'm gonna throw/push you in!" yeah.....no. totally not funny.