charlie foxtrot

yeah. cute shoes. *gritting my teeth in pain* let's just say they look a lot cuter than they feel. even after practicing. even after sitting most of the day. even with bandaids plastered to my feet. "i can make it up the stairs. i can make it to the checkpoint. i can make it to the employee bus. i can make it to the car...." and then the day got longer.

as i arrived home, i heard the last ring of the phone before the voicemail kicked in. it was an unrecognized number. i ignored it. i let the dog out, checked the mail. checked email. checked voicemail. i had a message from my oldest daughter. "mom. <\\wind blowing fuzzed out message//> something wrong at the school. there's gas or something coming out of the school and you need to come get me. i'm on <\\static's//> cell phone. and 'stefanie' wants you to pick her up too because her mom's not home."

i didn't even put the dog away. i grabbed my purse, shoved my throbbing feet back into my shoes (not thinking to change shoes, of course) and ran back out the door.

i arrived on the scene to find mild chaos. three news stations on the sidewalk, several fire trucks and ambulances, firefighters exiting through the front door with masks on, and a helicopter overhead. students were milling around in loose groups with teachers that i assumed were individual classrooms. i could not see nearly enough students to see that the whole school had been evacuated. maybe 200 students in all. so where's my kid and how do i find her and my god why didn't i put on flip-flops? someone pointed me to a long line of irritated people clutching ID who were most likely trying to sign kids out of the school. my ID was still conveniently clipped to my shirt. i quickly snatched it off and tucked it into my purse before stepping in front of the tv cameras.

i snagged a couple of familiar faces and asked the kids if they'd seen my daughter. a loud-mouthed mom kept informing me that the line was far behind her. at some point i turned around and snapped out, "obviously i'm not looking for the line or i'd already be in it. and if you were in charge, your ass wouldn't be all the way back here either." halfway through the line, i took off my shoes and stood barefoot in the grass watching the students disappear back into the school. i overheard a teacher telling the students they were going back into the school to get their belongings and be dismissed from their mod nine class. what?? mod nine. is that gym today? or, um, music? is it an A-day or a B-day? knowing which day it is on this FUBAR schedule is really important if you need to find your kid.

so has there been an all-clear sounded? what happened? why are they outside to begin with? does anybody here have a bullhorn? could we find one and begin communicating with the growing numner of parental units in the grass?

i buttonholed a firefighter who explained to me that some students were in the nurse's office with breathing problems. she called for paramedics. by the time they arrived (literally minutes, the station is closer than my house) several more ill students had arrived. some were treated on the scene, some were taken to the hospital and the school was evacuated. but nothing registered on the instruments when the firefighters went inside, so they authorized the kids to get their stuff and then leave again.

so is my bus-riding kid taking the bus home? the school staff did not know. they said that bus riders would be put on the bus unless someone was here to sign them out. um. hello? body in front of you? so.... my kid thinks i'm coming to get her. and i stupidly left the phone number from the cell she used at home. so i can't call her back. they could net tell me where she was. obviously. and now all the parents are being shuffled across the street behind the buses where we can't see kids exiting the school and they can't see us either. but the staff were more than willing to let me hoof it into the school to find her.

wait. hold the cheese here a second. i have to stand outside in a line to show my ID before being allowed to walk the perimeter of the school, but it is perfectly OK to just waltz into the school unchallenged with my bloody bare feet in search of one short blond kid?

so this is the action plan i signed millions of colored sheets of paper in the fall to implement? my daughter standing outside borrowing a cell phone and asking me to get her? and when i arrive i never even find her? i would hate to see an actual real-live emergency. this charlie-foxtrot bullshit is not an action plan. about the only thing to happen on cue was the arrival of medical personnel and media. the rest can go hang, right? i mean, who needs to actually communicate with a large number of parents when said parents are frantically lokoing for their kids? not me. not them. not the media. not the helicopter. it's all good.

i closed my eyes, had an oooohhsaaaaah moment, and made a command decision. if i left the middle school now, i would have time to pick up my three elementary kids on time. i would then give the middle school 30 minutes to send my child home safely on the bus before heading back to the school to look for her. as i was leaving the elementary school, my girl's middle school bus was coming down the street dropping kids off. less than 15 minutes later i was hugging my baby in our front yard.

it's all good now. ooooooohsaaaaaaaaah.