postal

 

it's about damn time for one of these.

our post office, located at 8201 harford road, is only open from 9am to 5pm.  so explain to me, a federal government employee, why they work seven hours and get a full hour for lunch.  paid.  i work eight hours and get 30 minutes unpaid, including travel time, for my lunch. 

during that full hour for lunch, the entire building is closed to customers.  you can open your own mailbox to retrieve mail and drop off mail into a little slot. that's it.  the door is locked to the part of the building where you get forms.  there used to be 3 machines where you could buy stamps and a scale where you could weigh your packages and enter the zip code to estimate your postage.  that is all gone.  now there are three trash cans and an empty counter.  not even a pen.  so we could take our trash to the post office between 1-2pm.  that is about all you can do there.

on my lunch break (note, it is not a lunch HOUR), we have to take turns, leaving the checkpoint running, and sometimes we even have to take that break late, long after everyone is tired and starving, to make sure that passenger flow is not interrupted.  we don't get to schedule a specific time and lock down the checkpoint.  why can't the post office take turns?  did they skip that part in kindergarten?  what could possibly take an hour?  they can't stop at the post office during their lunch hour.  it's closed.

i needed two lousy stamps.  now i have to wait until monday, after i get home, sit long enough to be exhausted and have to leave the house again, pollute the planet with emissions from my SUV to make a special trip because they are closed for their lunch HOUR when i get home from work.  because i sure as shit am not going to fight rush hour traffic today (which begins at 3pm in my tiny corner of the planet) to park in one of their 9 parking spaces to buy 2 friggin stamps because if i buy more than 2 effing stamps, they will raise the postage before i can finish the whole book of 20 and then i will have to make another trip to the post office to get the 2- or 3-cent stamps to make up the difference in the postage....

this is seriously off-pissing.  and they thought THEY had anger management problems.  try being a federal employee who DOESN'T get paid to eat lunch and only work seven hours a day.  and needs two melon-farming stamps.

cease and desist

 

I made a donation to your charity last winter or early spring 2010.  I choose to whom I donate my money.

However, since that initial donation, your charity, XXXXXX, has hounded me by phone and mail multiple times monthly for more money to the point that I no longer want to answer my own home phone.  This morning, after being pressured to accept yet another envelope (with a "free gift," I'm sure) I had to hang up on your operator because I told him numerous times that I was walking out the door to take my children to school and could not talk.  I do not like being rude, but he left me no choice. 

Save the money you are spending on the free gifts and postage.  Use that money for your actual recipients instead of wasting it on me for "thank you gifts."  I do not need your gifts.  What I do need, is my own money.  I am raising four children.  I am spending my money on them currently, thank you very much.  You will not be receiving money from me again.

This statement is a cease and desist order.  Remove my name from your mailing and phone list.  Contact from your organization after your acceptance of this order via electronic means, United Stated Postal Service or telephone, cellular or land line, will be considered harassment and will be treated as such under Maryland law. 

Good luck to your charity in the future and take this as a warning that people who are able to be generous every once in a while do NOT like to be harassed for more donations every month, especially when times are tight.

and yes, i did post my contact information, i'm just not including it in this note.

baked apple french toast

 

this is definitely not a "quick-throw-something-in" dish.  but it would make a great snow-day or holiday breakfast because you can make it the night before and bake it first thing in the morning.

modified from a recipe from martha stewart living, november 2010

martha's recipe called for "thick slices of brioche" for the french toast.  after haunting the bakery departments of three stores, i could not find such a beast, and the only recipe i could find (in my house - i did not travel the interwebs) showed me that brioche is made like dinner rolls, not a loaf.  so i used my favorite bread machine recipe instead... and i added 1 diced roma apple at the end.  due to my dietary restrictions, i used milk alternatives: powdered non-dairy creamer for dry milk, 1/3 C coconut cream for heavy cream, 2 C almond milk for regular milk.

apple cinnamon granola bread
(1.5 pound loaf in the bread machine)

1 C warm water
1/2 C applesauce
1 T melted butter
4 tsp brown sugar
1/3 C dry milk
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cinnamon
2-1/4 C whole wheat flour
1-1/4 C bread flour
3/4 C granola ( i use 2 packages apple-cinnamon nature valley granola bars, pummeled)
1-1/2 tsp yeast

add to bread machine bucket in the order listed by your manufacturer, or in the order listed here.  set bread machine to the whole wheat cycle with a light crust.  cool completely, slice ~10-12 and let air for a day or so.  you want it to be firm.

 

baked french toast

(yields ~8-10)

6 large eggs, beaten senseless
2 C milk
1/3 C heavy cream
1/3 C sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp coarse salt
1 C coarsely chopped pecans (i prefer walnuts)
1 sm-med peeled & diced roma apple
2-3 T cinnamon sugar mix

1.  beat the eggs and whisk in the next 6 ingredients until the batter is smooth.

2.  dip thick slices of bread into the batter and over lap them in a greased 9x13 non-metallic baking dish.  pour remaining batter over the top.  cover & refrigerate 2 hours or overnight.

3.  preheat oven to 375.  top the french toast with chopped apples and nuts.  sprinkle 2-3 T cinna-sugar over the top.  cover with parchment and foil and bake x 25 minutes.  remove foil and continue baking x 20 minutes more or until golden brown.

serve with warm syrup.

rants of the 15th

 

     so i drive to work every day at about the same time; who doesn't?  imagine my astonishment this workweek that EVERY DAY i have been trapped in the tunnel behind Zippy the Wonder Slug, chugging away at under 50 mph in a 55 zone.  and every day, Zippy is driving a different car.  he was even heading northbound yesterday after work.  what privilege, to crawl through the tunnel for no other reason than someone lost their cahones!  this morning, we were flying at a spectacular 35.  so i broke the law.  i crossed the double solid line in the tunnel and passed that bastidge like a pork barrel extension on capitol hill. 

      once upon a time, there was a mommy and a daddy and a baby.  mommy and daddy loaded up a stroller and several bags with everything they would need on a five-day wilderness hike and headed to the airport.  at least that is what it looked like.  mommy pushed the baby in the stroller through the metal detector.  kate watched while the metal detector screeched.  "um, ma'am? you'll need to take the baby out of the carseat and put the carseat face down on the x-ray belt, fold the stroller and send it through as well, and carry the baby through the metal detector."

     'you're kidding.'  mommy turned to daddy.  'well.  i don't know how they expect us to do all that.'

      kate thought to herself: did you not take all of that out of your car this morning?  hm.  there's two of you.  i'm sure you can  figure it out.  you're not the first mommy to come through. you're not the first mommy of a newborn to come through.  you're not the first mommy of a newborn with someone along to help out.  you're not the first mommy of newborn twins to come through by herself; you whine far more than she.  grow the eff up.  pack less.  enable yourself.

      a man emptied his pockets into a bin, tossed his laptop into another.  next he threw his coat and belt into a third.  he appeared to be in a tearing hurry.  i looked him over and asked the x-ray operator to take a good look at all the shoes coming through.  and to test them.  the man kicked his shoes off and bent to pick them up... paused... smacked his own forehead and looked at me.  "i did not do that," i giggled. 

     he was wearing one red and grey tennis shoe and a brown business shoe.

     looks like someone will be making a stop when they land.

      people who travel often want a 'checkpoint-friendly' laptop bag.  these bags are ones which have a SPECIAL separate laptop compartment.   SPECIAL means that in that part of the bag, ONLY the laptop goes there.  you may be able to put cords and files and magazines and your ipad there also, but then, you have defeated the friendliness.  this SPECIAL compartment can be laid flat on the x-ray machine, usually via a pair of zippers that enables the bag to butterfly open.  imagine a butterfly with a laptop sitting on one wing and the rest of the bag sitting on the other and the body of the butterfly is the only part of the bag that connects the two together. you have imagined a checkpoint-friendly bag.

      there are pictures out front in the queue area.  pictures of bags that ARE checkpoint friendly are drawn in green.  pictures of bags that are NOT checkpoint friendly are drawn in red.  (association of red = bad and green = good have been instilled in us through our public schools since the beginning of time.  or, at least since the beginning of public schools.)  regular backpacks, briefcases, satchels, purses, grocery sacks, diaper bags, and MANY office-in-a-bag bags are not checkpoint friendly.  let's put it bluntly: if you open the zipper all the way and can't see the entire laptop lid..... you are not in possession of a checkpoint friendly bag.  with my flagging language skills, i was simply unable to communicate this today.  at.  all.  especially to the guy who insisted that his briefcase was checkpoint friendly because "the laptop IS in it's own compartment.  look for yourself."  i just might.  and indeed, there was nothing in between the pieces of cloth but the laptop.  but.... on the other side of the little cloth divider.... was the rest of the office.  thank you.  have a seat.

pay it forward

 

that phrase has special meaning to me, and although initially it had nothing to do with the movie, i stole the title to suit my needs.  it is something i have tried hard to live by for these past nine years.  i think i feel so compelled to write because today is that day.  and i just now noticed.

 nine years ago we lived in arizona.  it was not nearly the fun park ride we thought it would be.  we separated from the military, determined to settle down near family for the first time in our marriage - seven years.  we left the air force with nowhere to live, and no income.  boy was that stupid.  we tried several things, a few avenues panned out.  i worked as a security guard at night and took care of the kids during the day while fergus was in school.  and no.  i didn't sleep.  i got a dozing-nursing-nap with then-infant hercules when i got home at sunrise until it was time to get bear to first grade.  a second hard-core nap when schmoo and hercules slept in the afternoon.  if they both slept at the same time.  then pick-up from school, fix dinner and off to work.  that was a long six months.  i walked away from that job with an eye-twitch and a stutter.  and some very good friends.

 these friends didn't have daily contact with me after i left my job at christmas, but came to take care of me and my babies when fergus was out of town.  i landed on the floor of the bathroom, calling people out of my address book for help.  two of my co-workers took turns at my house between their shifts.  i drove myself to the ER, stopping to be sick three times on the way there.  and one of them stayed with me when i got home.

 one night in february, they showed up at the door with a trunk full of groceries.  i hadn't called.  i wasn't part of any kind of community anything.  we were literally down to our last crumbs.  i had no idea how i was going to feed my three kids and newly-discovered-pregnant me.  between the last paycheck from one job and the first paycheck from the next... we were stuck in a bad way.  these women showed me what it meant to be a friend.  they walked right in the front door with two bags of groceries each arm and another four in the car.  they hugged the kids while i tried not to cry.  they hugged me and then i cried. 

 i don't have a religion. 

i don't pray.

i don't own special clothes or trinkets or books.

i don't find it necessary to sit in a special building on a certain day and chant and sing things in a particular order.

 i simply pay it forward, every chance i get.  i have learned that no matter how small your actions are, it could be the biggest thing for someone else.  i try to be kind, helpful, i try to anticipate and then act.

 thank you, ladies.  for everything.

early for me!

 

just a couple of notes to start off my saturday.

 govornor o'malley was re-elected, and had an inaugural party last night.  excuse me??  you didn't lose your job so you are spending my money to celebrate it?  i didn't lose my job either and no one hired a live band for me.  put down the funny hat and git yo ass back to work. 

 a texting woman fell into a mall fountain.  someone posted security camera videos of the fall on youtube.  bitch is hiring a lawyer to sue "someone" because she doesn't think it's funny.  well, sweetcheeks, if your ass had been paying attention to where you were walking, you would not have fallen face-first into a public fountain.  that was FUNNY.  i'm still laughing.  if you decide (and it is a conscious decision to text and walk at the same time) to engage in stupid conduct in public and you fall down and go boom-boom, well, tough shit.  hang up and walk.  *giggles madly*

chuckles vs. kate

 

so it kinda snowed last night. not a lot. not enough to buy milk, bread, and toilet paper.

now, both parents (and the roommate) in this family work outside the home.  we have our schedules set so that we do not pay for child care.  bonus.  mommy works the early morning shift so that she is home for kiddoes when they are out of school.  daddy's schedule is flexible enough to allow him the opportunity to stay home until the youngest two are dropped off at school, and then he stays at work later in the evening.  daddy's managerial staff is very understanding about not having multiple child care options and offering the opportunity to use leave or sick time when the children are sick or the schools open late.  what a wonderful experience.

 mommy's managerial staff.... not so much.  mommy's staff requires written documentation for an  absence during "blackout" periods or when two people have already been approved for time off.  calling in sick is frowned upon, especially if you have to do so a few days in a row, as in the instance of multiple sick children catching the same illness several days in a row.  written medical documentation is also required for three or more consecutive sick days, regardless if the illness requires a doctor's care.  taking sick leave and leaving early in conjunction with a weekend is also naughty behavior.

 so today, wednesday (mommy's friday), daddy had a very important briefing at work.  dropping the kids off at school would give him enough time to finish final preparations for this meeting, grab a bite to eat and begin.  except... the schools were delayed.  no problem.  i texted him that i would just leave early and he could meet me in the employee lot (on his way in), drop the elementaries off and i could get them back to school on time.  many flights were cancelled and several delayed and the whole morning was very slow, even for a wednesday. 

 mommy's managerial staff was not pleased.  chuckles (because i NEVER use real names when i blog) called me into the office to ask why i thought i needed to leave early without prior authorization. 

 "so, why is it that you need to leave early today?" asked chuckles. 

 "well, BCPS has a two hour delay today, but fort meade is code green today, so my husband needs to be in on time for a really important briefing this morning-"

 "so?  i had to be in on time this morning too," stated chuckles.  which is ironic, because he actually wasn't in on time this morning.  nor does he have elementary-aged children.  but i digress.

 "-- and i don't have any other child care for my elementary school children.  any other day with a delay, as a matter of fact, all of them for 2010, he stayed with the kids.  it is really my turn to take off for this, because this briefing was called by someone much higher up in the chain than he.  several people have put a lot of work into this and he simply cannot be late this time.  if you would like to call and speak to him-"

 he waved his paw dismissively at me and grumbled, "i don't get between husband and wife things."

 "it has nothing to do with 'husband and wife things.'  you would be taking this up with the department of defense.  if i had the need to know, i could tell you for whom the briefing is scheduled."  i smiled.  "however, that information is not privy to the unsecured public."

 "fine. someone else asked to go home early today and yesterday i approved it. your husband just needs to understand-"

 "as a manager himself, he understands perfectly well and is willing to discuss this matter with you, peer-to-peer.  he understands that for some reason, my management requires HIM to take off work every time.  we try to work it out that we share sick leave responsibilities so that neither of our employers is always left with a hole in the schedule.  today is your turn."

 and i left.