pax gripes

 

"I don't think you understand how this process works. I am global entry. I don't stand in line."

my answer: global entry cards have nothing to do with the line. you're not coded for first class, business class, or pre-check. the end of the line starts back there. next, please.

 

"why is half the checkpoint shut down and inoperable? did anybody come to work today?"

my answer: we are fully staffed. write your congressman.

 

"you people have no idea what efficiency is. look at this mess. it isn't supposed to be like this."

my answer: you should plan to arrive at the airport 2 hours prior to your posted boarding time. we have been open since 4:15. that was 6 hours ago. have a nice day.

 

"it's your fault i'm going to miss my flight. it's because of your line."

my answer: please see the gentleman in the suit at the round desk as you exit the checkpoint.

 

"well your sign says my shoes stay on. one of you is a liar then."

my answer: the sign doesn't know any better. he was sick that day of training class.

 

I. Hate. Today.