bucket, anyone?

i am currently laying in the lap of luxury, laptop within reach, feet propped up bathed in a cool, rose-scented breeze tickling against my bare feet as i sway in the hammock. there'sonly one thing wrong with this picture, and unfortunately it is just so very wrong. nothing can drown it out, nothing can take it away and nothing can stop it. someone please tackle the tone-deaf mutant with the karaoke mike. my ears are bleeding. somebody get that boy a bucket to carry his tune in.

a neighbor across the street (one i don't particularly care for in the first place) is having some sort of teen party; an "instead-of-prom," a graduation open house, a birthday, or maybe just a loud party of no real significance. whatever the occasion, i have heard about enough of the off-key, off-rhythm, beatles, neil diamond and tom jones i can stomach for quite some time. how do the snot-nose brats even know these songs??? the noise bleeds into my home from well over 50 yards away'and nothing we do can shut it out.

now they are pathetically trying to rap, or maybe they are among those people who only read in a monotone and therefore can't sing outside a monotone whilst reading the lyrics on the little screen. they suck so bad, half the time i can't even recognize the tune, let alone the words. why oh why are the people who cannot sing to save their lives attracted so violently to the karaoke machine??? oh and don't get even me started on the feedback......mikes+speakers =badness!!!!!!

i can't tell if they have been drinking because the singing has been steadfastly horrid for going on 4 hours now. i would love to leave just to escape the noise, but i am pretty drunk myself. i had a coupla ciders just as they were warming up and ciders stay with me for quite a while. so here i sit listening to the mad combination of simon the dog next door howling along with fragments of - i'm really trying hard to identify this....it's been 2.5 minutes and i still haven't got it yet.....they've changed songs twice and i still haven't figured them out - i'll guess that last one had the temptations backing him up. even the birds have a panicked shrillness in their chirrups. we're all going insane, one sour note at a time......