taking a break. (wow. it's an essay.)

we were stationed in england, and not anywhere cool, either. do you know how small england is?? you can drive from the southern coast to the farthest northern coast in 10 hours, nonstop. unless you get behind a tractor on a fen road, but that is an entirely different kind of rant altogether. we were miserable, poor and lonely, not to mention americans in a country that is supposed to be our ally. due to the constant stream of protests over our presence, we were forbidden (by our chain of command) to do cool stuff like go to london or sightsee. yay. let's drive around and look at sheep. they don't seem to mind.

i was introduced to the fine art of scrapbooking there in the year 2000. i was suffering from ppdepression after my second child. it rained all the time. i walked my daughter to school in the foggy morning darkness at 8:30 am and picked her up in the gloaming at 3:00. no friggin sun. i was amazed when a large package arrived for no apparent reason from my mother-in-law one day. i think it was maybe a wednesday. inside were three scrapbooks. "it's a girl," "it's a boy," and somthing similar to "it's a wedding." in addition, there were stickers, die cuts, colorful sheets of paper, a mini photo trimmer, stencils, markers, scissors....i went on for days. it was like a volkswagon bug at the shriners circus. there was a note inside that said something akin to, "this is all the rage in the states and i was pretty sure you hadn't heard of it out there in the sticks. i know you're artsy-fartsy and my daughter sara loves this so i thought i'd send you this stuff. love mom. (barb)" she always does that. so i don't get her confused with my birth mom, who lives in another state, i guess. anyway, surprised at all the hoopla and bright colors, i set to work like a woman possessed. i had something to do!!!!!

needless to say, now i am an addict. i got super organized in december of 2003 and one of my new years resolutions every year is to keep chugging away until i get caught up. i file everything away in an accordian file for the entire year. in december, i go through it all and put things in chronological order. makes scrapping sooooo easy. i can do a 2-page 12x12 spread in 45 minutes when i have all the stickers, papers, memorabilia, and pics organized.

i am finishing up the book for the year 2001. it has a black leather cover, and for good reason. this has been a particularly difficult year for me, and not not just for the publicly reknowned reasons. 2001 was the year our third child was born (he wasn't bad news, just bad timing), mere weeks before we were scheduled to leave the white cliffs of dover. we went home to thaw out in the great american desert of arizona, only to find that there weren't any jobs available that paid enough to support a family of five. someone, against better judgement, enrolled in truck driving school to pick up some quick cash (yeah, those things always work out). we ended up on welfare for the first time in our lives and found that civilian life wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. kind of like enlisted life. the year continued with tears and grief in september, winding up with a horrid stomach virus while dh was on the road, trucking, that sent my littlest one to the ER and i had NO family support. yay for family. oh, and another positive pregnancy test on new years eve.

i have finished all but the 9/11 section. it has been difficult to finish that part, so i am taking it slowly. as in, i haven't touched the book since the 5-year anniversary. it was a rather large coincidence that i happened on september of 2001 during that particular week. i was freaked out and buried my scrapbook under a lot of bills and magazines until i was ready to face it again. i have been downloading photos of wreckage all morning and decided to take a breather. maybe i can do some more tomorrow. maybe next week. a lot of tears and grief have been spent on this black book of mine and hopefully soon i can close it up and not look at it for a while; but i will look at it again. because i have to. that's why i'm saving it all in the first place.