vernacular bonbons

the phone rings insistently on the checkpoint and joan answers it with the standard greeting. a small, tense voice on the other end says, "uh, yeah, i'm um, stuck in the elevator."
thrown for a loop by the obviously nonstandard reply at 0415 in the morning, joan asnswers, "excuse me?"
"yeah, i'm in the elevator and it's not moving. i'm trying to come to work," says the phone. "this is terry."
the first thing on joan's mind is to find out if the employee is even in the airport at all, and to which elevator to send a rescue team. then basic troubleshooting took over, and she asked, "do any of the buttons work in the elevator? can you push the alarm button?"
"oh, yeah," says the voice. "i guess i forgot to push the button, huh?"



wait for it....








and i work with this person?????? how in god's ninety green hells does this person still have a job?? someone please put that oxygen-depleter out of our misery already!!!



and then just after break....
I♥
VB

that is what the teeshirt said. being on the exit lane, i couldn't exactly go and ask the passenger what VB was. i was mildly curious and repulsed at the same time, because it just sounds so dangerously close to "VD." and no one has to ask about that. so i grabbed a pen and began scribbling my thoughts VerBatim...

venitan blinds vatican bibles venerial bologna vexed bulls voratious bitches velvet bedsheets vegetarian bedwetters voluminous belches vericose buttcheeks veriagated blossoms vegan bovines verified beefsticks vernicious buffalo voluptuous bodices vaccinated bellybuttons vintage beer virginal babes velociraptor blood vandalized braziers vanity books varlets blasphemed vanquished bloodlines velveeta bricks venturesome broads vexing Bahri veiny broccoli... and at some point it dawned on me that it prolly meant Virginia Beach... but i was having too much fun to stop. i'm sure i can come up with more, but i'll stop where i left off when i was tapped. feel free to add on - no repeats of words already used, though.