28 July 2011

wanted: control

 

my mother is compiling a power point presentation for her funeral. if anything at all says 'control freak', that is pretty much it.

so she needs these pictures that she thinks i have for her presentation. husband dear says mother forbade us to remove these items from her house when we visited. we are far too irresponsible to handle such things as pictures of her father. she insisted that we scan the picture and documents in at her house and take only electronics with us.

nine years later, she calls asking for the pictures back. since i have seen the pictures she is asking about, i tell her we will check in our storage unit, where we keep things we aren't looking at right now. she called back 48 hours later, wanting to know if we had found them. i told her i hadn't looked yet. that did not make mother happy. 

four days later, she called again. said my brother was going to drive down and get the pictures from us on friday on his way to her house. she was very disappointed to learn that we were to be out of state on friday. 

two days later, my brother called to ask if we could puppy sit for him whilst he visited mother. seems his puppysitter was unexpectedly called out of town. mother does not allow dogs in her house, so she told him he would have to board the dog. doggie, however, was not old enough to receive all the shots she needs to be allowed in a boarding house. no go. well. mother does not allow dogs in the house. so i am going to puppysit. and brother is supposed to pick up those pictures we discussed. 

i cannot believe that my mother is being so self-centered. while i was talking to my brother, she called my house and cell phone FIVE times. when i called her back i said, "seriously? five times in ten minutes? can't a girl take a dump??" seems she planned originally to drive up this way and stop by my house anyway. to fetch the pictures. UM, WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME, BITCH?? i think it would have been hilarious had she decided to just show up and we were out of town.

i am really not understanding what is going on here. i told her, "i have contractors coming in and out of the house. i have multiple children going to and from summer camp. i work full time and have a house to run. i haven't had time to set my pants on fire and go look for the pictures. what is the big hurry??" 

the only answer i got was, "i need those pictures."

effing control freak. someone tell me why i left home at age 18 years, 3 weeks and four days? yeah. that was it.

 

 

husband has just returned from the storage unit. and the verdict is: we have no pictures or documents from my side of the family. at. all. everything we have has been scanned or downloaded from the census bureau. mother will not be pleased.

15 July 2011

my all-stars



To my Den 8 Webelos at Dulaney Cub Scout camp: you are my all-stars, those boys of summer who tried their hardest, sang their hearts out (even when they didn't want to), made new friends & palled around, learned scouting values (and the Scout Law!), sweated like pigs & drank like horses, wowed the camp with their sincerity, all the while earning the bragging rights to Best in Camp for Marksman, Archery, Fishing & the Obstacle Course, in addition to top Webelos scores in those categories. On behalf of Mr. Mike, you made us proud.

 

See you on the trails, boys. 

 

PS - I remember your names, finally.  ;o)

06 July 2011

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFk friday.

 today i celebrated friday by

 

* working with douchecanoes on the checkpoint when i didn't have to (but wasn't told that until 11am)

* getting my new badge re-issued since this current one was deactivated the day after i got it

* staying an hour late to re-vamp a 940 line spreadsheet in which i was directed to "guess" at some of the unknown/uncollected data by a dude whose breath smelled like he frequently licked public ashtrays

* not calling the house because someone sat on the phone making it off the hook for 6 hours

* not fixing dinner because i couldn't call anyone to start the bread machine or tell me what was left on the grocery list

* and having no inclination whatsoever to fix dinner.

details of a domestic goddess

part-time SAHM to four kids: Bear (96), Schmoo (99), Hercules (01), and Princess (02). I wear many hats, including that of the chef, maid, nanny, chauffeur, accountant, triage nurse, laundress, educator, admin assistant, maintenance, gardener, weekend warrior, and just mom too. when i'm not busy momming, i get up at 2am to go to work as an international spy.