details of a domestic goddess

part-time SAHM to four kids: Bear (96), Schmoo (99), Hercules (01), and Princess (02). I wear many hats, including that of the chef, maid, nanny, chauffeur, accountant, triage nurse, laundress, educator, admin assistant, maintenance, gardener, weekend warrior, and just mom too. when i'm not busy momming, i get up at 2am to go to work as an international spy.

11 October 2008

chocolate hazelnut truffles

it was a day.

we, in general and out of character today, received many compliments from passengers on how organized we were; i got a few for being courteous. yay us. i am focusing on those ever-so-brief and never documented bright spots to end my workday. and then there's the Big Blemish of the morning, trying to tarnish it all.

when someone gets angry with me for their failings, i am supposed to take it. i am actually trained to take a step back and empathize with the person who is angry with me and calling my intelligence into question. i am supposed to think about the day they are having, and suppose that they have a great deal of stress on their minds, which is causing them to act in an unfriendly manner. regardless of the comments raining upon my head, i must be nice. whether my day is going well or not is never an issue. no matter how many passengers tell me that *I* am personally ridiculous for creating the standards of the airline industry, no matter how low my blood sugar dips while waiting for the line to lessen to go on a much-needed break, no matter how many people accuse me of stealing their belongings (that they have voluntarily surrendered to me, have either checked at the ticket counter or left at home), a tight smile graces my lips and the words, "have a nice flight" tumble from my mouth, unbidden at times.

i received compliments from both a passenger in passing and a fellow officer, one that i have watched to emulate dealing with difficult passengers. they both said i did a good job keeping a cool head with the angry "Cruise Couple," who were, of course, late for their flight. funny. i was seething and seeing red. it didn't feel like i kept a cool head at all. but i guess on the exterior i simply went cold as stone and maintained an icy bearing that got me through without managing to bite the passengers or bite off any of the comments running through my head. because there were some doozies in there.

the line was long. it generally is, late-morning. a lady was getting the standard patdown required for processing for additional screening. i got the attention of my fellow officer and told her to send the passenger to me so i could get started with the additional testing of her luggage. the woman dropped into a chair with an annoyed sigh, then rolled her eyes and flung her hands into the air when told she didn't have to sit down. i asked her to identify her property without touching it and she promptly began touching her bags and trying to lift them. i reminded her that she should not touch her belongings before i finished screening them. i again asked which items were hers. she gestured vaguely at the x-ray and stated, "all of them." i was looking at three bins, containing several sweaters and small bags and two pairs of shoes and two suitcases. i again asked her to clarify which items were hers. she answered me the same way, touching all of the bins and pointing to a suitcase half out of the x-ray saying, "mine mine mine mine, all these are mine." i reminded her a third time to not touch her belongings until they were cleared by me.

another officer picked up the second suitcase and asked, "is this one yours as well?" at which point she snarled, "no. i said all these were mine!" i stopped what i was doing and asked if she was traveling with anyone else. she flung her hand in the direction of a man behind her and said, "YES! my HUSBAND." as if he were wearing a sign.

i hmmm'd and felt my lips pressing into my annoyed face. "with all these items and extra shoes, can you see why i asked you to be more specific? i wanted to make sure that i retrieved the correct belongings. do i have everything yet? thank you, please follow me."

Hubs joined Wifey. i began the standard examination and testing of the passenger luggage and assorted belongings. behind me, Hubs reached around me and tried to grab his shoes. i reminded the couple, since Hubs hadn't heard the prior three warnings, "please do not touch your belongings until i have finished screening them. i will have to send them back through the x-ray again if you touch them again." as the machine cleared Wifey's shoes, i handed them back to her.

"that wasn't screening?" she asked. i was confused. "that wasn't screening, what we just did through the x-ray? if that wasn't screening then why bother? when can i have my shoes back?"

"ma'am," i tempered, "your airline selected you for additional screening. x-raying your property is the first step of that process. getting a patdown is the second." i answered several other snide questions one from the left, one from the right for the next five minutes. "they printed a code on your ticket to let us know." "they don't tell us why they select their customers; although there is a short list of reasons we have come to understand, but nothing official is communicated to us." "i have a set of procedures i must follow to inform you airline that you have been carefully screened before boarding your aircraft." "if you wish to ask your airline about their selection process, i suggest you seek out an airline representative." "yes, that might entail going back to the ticket counter. you might have an 800 number on your ticket. i'm not sure." "i have not charged you any fees today, ma'am. i do not work for any airline."

in between sniping at me and sarcastically asking if they could have each and every item that i finished screening, i discovered that they quite literally missed the boat at the port of baltimore. Wifey had "had a bad feeling about all this" that they should have listenend to earlier. (whatever that meant.) they booked the first flight to their cruise line's next port destination to see if they could board there. the flight they booked at the ticket counter was scheduled to depart in less than 20 minutes. Wifey had to pee. they had been charged a large amount of money for heavy bags that they never intended to check on an airplane. i imagine they were pretty stressed out.

if it weren't for all the hurtful remarks and general ass-holish-ness, i might have felt sorry for them. what an awful way to start a vacation. and then she said it.

"you are going to make us miss our flight. we already missed our cruise and you are delaying us."

i stopped what i was doing. i looked at the grey wall in front of me and blinked slowly, once. i inhaled the warm, stale, recirculated air of our checkpoint. i plastered on the fakest barbie smile i could muster. i raised my voice slightly so that other officers could hear me, and maybe flag down another to assist me or get a supervisor.

"i have not delayed you in the slightest. would you like me to fetch you a supervisor? i would be more than happy to stop what i am doing right now and have someone else assist you. of course, they would have to start all over. i am working on your belongings no slower, no faster than anyone else. i genuinely want to get you to the gate for the flight that you are late for. i've been here since 0345. i'm not late. i can be more thorough for you, if that is what you really want me to do. if you want to make that flight, please step back and let me finish my job."

at which point, Hubs says, "will you just shut up?? let her finish so we can make this flight. you're always so negative!!!"

my hands shook in anger. i controlled my breathing. i finished up their belongings. i glanced at my watch. less than 7 minutes from start to finish. i placed the last suitcase on the floor, flipped the handle up out of habit and turned my back on them, biting out, "i sincerely hope you make it to your flight on time." in sotto voce, i finished, "because i certainly won't be helping you make another one."

i earned my chocolates today.

chocolate hazelnut truffles

 it was a day.


we, in general and out of character today, received many compliments from passengers on how organized we were; i got a few for being courteous. yay us. i am focusing on those ever-so-brief and never documented bright spots to end my workday. and then there's the Big Blemish of the morning, trying to tarnish it all.

when someone gets angry with me for their failings, i am supposed to take it. i am actually trained to take a step back and empathize with the person who is angry with me and calling my intelligence into question. i am supposed to think about the day they are having, and suppose that they have a great deal of stress on their minds, which is causing them to act in an unfriendly manner. regardless of the comments raining upon my head, i must be nice. whether my day is going well or not is never an issue. no matter how many passengers tell me that *I* am personally ridiculous for creating the standards of the airline industry, no matter how low my blood sugar dips while waiting for the line to lessen to go on a much-needed break, no matter how many people accuse me of stealing their belongings (that they have voluntarily surrendered to me, have either checked at the ticket counter or left at home), a tight smile graces my lips and the words, "have a nice flight" tumble from my mouth, unbidden at times.

i received compliments from both a passenger in passing and a fellow officer, one that i have watched to emulate dealing with difficult passengers. they both said i did a good job keeping a cool head with the angry "Cruise Couple," who were, of course, late for their flight. funny. i was seething and seeing red. it didn't feel like i kept a cool head at all. but i guess on the exterior i simply went cold as stone and maintained an icy bearing that got me through without managing to bite the passengers or bite off any of the comments running through my head. because there were some doozies in there.

the line was long. it generally is, late-morning. a lady was getting the standard patdown required for processing for additional screening. i got the attention of my fellow officer and told her to send the passenger to me so i could get started with the additional testing of her luggage. the woman dropped into a chair with an annoyed sigh, then rolled her eyes and flung her hands into the air when told she didn't have to sit down. i asked her to identify her property without touching it and she promptly began touching her bags and trying to lift them. i reminded her that she should not touch her belongings before i finished screening them. i again asked which items were hers. she gestured vaguely at the x-ray and stated, "all of them." i was looking at three bins, containing several sweaters and small bags and two pairs of shoes and two suitcases. i again asked her to clarify which items were hers. she answered me the same way, touching all of the bins and pointing to a suitcase half out of the x-ray saying, "mine mine mine mine, all these are mine." i reminded her a third time to not touch her belongings until they were cleared by me.

another officer picked up the second suitcase and asked, "is this one yours as well?" at which point she snarled, "no. i said all these were mine!" i stopped what i was doing and asked if she was traveling with anyone else. she flung her hand in the direction of a man behind her and said, "YES! my HUSBAND." as if he were wearing a sign.

i hmmm'd and felt my lips pressing into my annoyed face. "with all these items and extra shoes, can you see why i asked you to be more specific? i wanted to make sure that i retrieved the correct belongings. do i have everything yet? thank you, please follow me."

Hubs joined Wifey. i began the standard examination and testing of the passenger luggage and assorted belongings. behind me, Hubs reached around me and tried to grab his shoes. i reminded the couple, since Hubs hadn't heard the prior three warnings, "please do not touch your belongings until i have finished screening them. i will have to send them back through the x-ray again if you touch them again." as the machine cleared Wifey's shoes, i handed them back to her.

"that wasn't screening?" she asked. i was confused. "that wasn't screening, what we just did through the x-ray? if that wasn't screening then why bother? when can i have my shoes back?"

"ma'am," i tempered, "your airline selected you for additional screening. x-raying your property is the first step of that process. getting a patdown is the second." i answered several other snide questions one from the left, one from the right for the next five minutes. "they printed a code on your ticket to let us know." "they don't tell us why they select their customers; although there is a short list of reasons we have come to understand, but nothing official is communicated to us." "i have a set of procedures i must follow to inform you airline that you have been carefully screened before boarding your aircraft." "if you wish to ask your airline about their selection process, i suggest you seek out an airline representative." "yes, that might entail going back to the ticket counter. you might have an 800 number on your ticket. i'm not sure." "i have not charged you any fees today, ma'am. i do not work for any airline."

in between sniping at me and sarcastically asking if they could have each and every item that i finished screening, i discovered that they quite literally missed the boat at the port of baltimore. Wifey had "had a bad feeling about all this" that they should have listenend to earlier. (whatever that meant.) they booked the first flight to their cruise line's next port destination to see if they could board there. the flight they booked at the ticket counter was scheduled to depart in less than 20 minutes. Wifey had to pee. they had been charged a large amount of money for heavy bags that they never intended to check on an airplane. i imagine they were pretty stressed out.

if it weren't for all the hurtful remarks and general ass-holish-ness, i might have felt sorry for them. what an awful way to start a vacation. and then she said it.

"you are going to make us miss our flight. we already missed our cruise and you are delaying us."

i stopped what i was doing. i looked at the grey wall in front of me and blinked slowly, once. i inhaled the warm, stale, recirculated air of our checkpoint. i plastered on the fakest barbie smile i could muster. i raised my voice slightly so that other officers could hear me, and maybe flag down another to assist me or get a supervisor.

"i have not delayed you in the slightest. would you like me to fetch you a supervisor? i would be more than happy to stop what i am doing right now and have someone else assist you. of course, they would have to start all over. i am working on your belongings no slower, no faster than anyone else. i genuinely want to get you to the gate for the flight that you are late for. i've been here since 0345. i'm not late. i can be more thorough for you, if that is what you really want me to do. if you want to make that flight, please step back and let me finish my job."

at which point, Hubs says, "will you just shut up?? let her finish so we can make this flight. you're always so negative!!!"

my hands shook in anger. i controlled my breathing. i finished up their belongings. i glanced at my watch. less than 7 minutes from start to finish. i placed the last suitcase on the floor, flipped the handle up out of habit and turned my back on them, biting out, "i sincerely hope you make it to your flight on time." in sotto voce, i finished, "because i certainly won't be helping you make another one."

i earned my chocolates today.